An Open Letter to Matt Dean (R-MN) Concerning Weasels

I sent the following email to the office of Rep. Matt Dean after his reference to writer Neal Gaiman, "who I hate," as "pencil-necked little weasel who stole $45,000 from the state of Minnesota." On behalf of all civil, literate Minnesotans, I apologize.  I cannot speak for Mr. Dean.

Representative Matt Dean

Majority Leader, Minnesota House of Representatives

459 State Office Building

St. Paul, MN 55155-1298

Dear Mr. Dean:

You’re probably aware at this point that craven name-calling has its consequences, and that it’s particularly rude and relatively stupid to do such things in the halls of legislature.  No matter your politics or opinion of the arts, I expect better from those who serve me and my fellow Minnesotans in government.  I have come to expect spastic insults and unfounded accusations from the Punditry, but I can’t accept it from public servants in prominent office.  

You think Mr. Gaiman’s fee was too high?  fair enough.  Bring the point up as an example to support your argument.  Call him names like a schoolyard punk and you dishonor your office.  But slander him, defame his character with malice as you have, and you’re answerable to the very laws you have sworn before God to uphold.

But I assume your mother already told you this at breakfast.

I don’t live in your district, but I am happy to write my own Representative and ask that he reconsider your position as Majority Leader.  Do yourself and your state a favor, act like an adult and a gentleman and keep a civil tongue in your head.

Most Sincerely,

Kevin Murphy

Bloomington MN

My Bucket List

Can't believe it took me so long to do this, but here goes!

1.) Thirteen-Quart Stainless Steel Utility Bucket

2.) Five- Gallon Whilte Plastic Food-Grade Bucket

3.) 3.5 Gallon Galvanized Steel General Use Garden Bucket

4.) High-Performance Backhoe Excavator Bucket.

There.  That was easier than I thought!

In Which I am Humbled. Again.

The Company of Riffers at SF Sketchfest, January, Two Thousand and Now.

No better way to be humbled than to go onstage with the likes of these folks. Clockwisely from top left: Janet Varney, Cole Stratton, Adam Savage, Dough E. Guy, Bill Corbett, Paul F. Tompkins, Maria Bamford.  Words canot express my gratitude, so I’m making you each a small idol out of clay and grass.

-kwm 

The Road Not Goog-Led.

Inspired by Paul F Tompkins’ Google Voice Translation of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, I’ve taken one of my favorite recordings of the spoken word, “The Road Not Taken” as read by its author, Robert Frost, played it into my cell phone, transcribed it with Google Voice, then played the text back through SpokenText.net.  I hope you enjoy.  

THE ROAD NOT GOOG-LED

20 Road devos, any other load,

And sorry I could not travel ball, and they 1 traveler,wrong, 

I still have not done one as far as I call it 

The way I did bent in the underground. 

Then Tokyothan. It’s just this man having but the bed, 

A claim because it was a blast in wanted where 

No, I just know that the best thing that long. 

I’m really about the same and both that money will remain. 

Please note that the drug, but I kept the flash or another day. 

Yet knowing how way leads on the way that I doubt it is. I should’ve come back.

I should be selling this for the size someone ages and ages 

And to overload the voyage to the will. 

And I, I took the one less traveled but. 

And that is made on the difference.

Holy Hecktober!

...Meaning that this is going to be a MONSTER of a month.  SO much stuff going on, and more public appearances that I've done since my legendary Vegas nightclub act with Tommy Newsome and funnyman Pete Barbuti. *

First, on Thursday October 28th, Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and I return to the Belcourt theater in Nashville to perform another Rifftrax Live, When we'll serve up the notoriously silly William Castle / Vincent Price movie House On Haunted Hill.  OUr special guest riffer will be Paul F. Tompkins, a terribly sharp and very funny man, and a damn sharp dresser to boot.

But wait, there's more.  On Friday the 29th, Bill and I are jetting to Halifax to be guests at Hal-Con,where we'll riff two shorts, live, without a net.  We'll be signing autographs, rubbing elbows with sci-fi luminaries, trying not to get kicked out of bars for photo-bombing furries.  

BUT WAIT! If you act now (which means going to Boston), you can see us co-host W00tstock's Halloween Show along with Paul And Storm and Mythbusters' Adam Savage, Marian Call, Grant Imahara and a host of very smart and funny people. We're sitting in for Wil Wheaton this time, and hope we can fill out his Cloak of Awesomeness. 

So this is more of me than even I generally like to see, but if you'd like to say hello at one of these events , please don't be shy.

-kwm